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紫翠的部落格4月13日 【转】黄子华语录，超经典1. 愛情
白雪公主，幾咁純潔無瑕。但係諗真啲，白雪公主，識得嗰個係王子，灰姑娘識嗰個又係王子；有個有特殊嚐好，鐘意錫青蛙嘅女人錫咗隻青蛙一啖，隻青蛙變出嚟嘅又係王子！有冇人諗過根本個王子係同一個人呢？根本呢個王子都不知幾花心，周圍溝女。仲無良到扮青蛙去溝添！
2. 情竇未開
我第一次戀愛之前，我認為自己就係楊過，而我同書里面個楊過唯一唔同嘅地方，就係佢有隻大鵰。
而我嗰陣，就鐘意撚呢個相思同畫眉多啲。同楊過一樣，我從來冇諗過要考第一。
我只需要愛情，只要搵到我嘅小龍女，我就可以拋棄學業，退隱山林，搬入新界住。但係我一定要住西班牙別墅，我唔住得村屋，我怕蛇蟲鼠蟻。然後每個月至多出一次市區，不過我唔會逗留得耐，問亞媽攞完零用錢我就會入番入去。
冇錯，基本上，我由中一至中五都係喺呢種咁超然嘅思想下度過。嗰陣時學校最流行嘅辯論題目係：“中學生應否談戀愛？”我認為，我哋應該辯論嘅係“中學生應否讀書？”
而喺我第一次戀愛之前，我嘅小龍女只需要一個條件，就係靚，我知我知我咁樣諗好膚淺，但係嗰陣時我仲细，唔知道原來身材都好重要嘎。
3. 性
聖人話:“食色性也！” 食同色，好唔同！ 一個人無論幾鐘意食，會唔會比幾十蚊入戲院睇套“蒸氣騰騰小龍包”？ 一個人無論幾鐘意食，又會唔會為咗望一舊冇包住嘅牛肉望到畀車撞？
4. 愛情
戀愛唔係PART-TIME，你唔可以話：“愛！做完咪走囉！”戀愛係一盤生意，你要二十四小時諗住佢。自己生意，冇所謂PART-TIME 正識。人哋放假或者過年過節，你更加要開OT添。 行花市啦行海邊啦睇戲食飯啦……
你有乜嘢競爭對手呢？我冇競爭對手？！你估你係專利巴士公司啊？ 港巴都執咗啦！有冇考慮結婚？咁就要向公眾交代，咁就即係上市啦！所以，“中學生應否談戀愛”唔係問題， 問題係“人類應否有兩份全職工作？”
你再拍拖，需要知會你老闆：“老細，我出面搵咗份戀愛，我真係好需要呢份戀愛，不過公司啲嘢我會照做，我兼顧到嘎。”然後你老闆會話：“咁你不如搵多份戀愛，咪直情唔使番呢份工囉！”
5. 新鮮
依家啲人溝女，對絛女最大嘅要求係乜啊？唔係靚，最緊要，係夠新鮮！
乜嘢叫做夠新鮮啊？就係話，溝咗一年嗰個，就唔夠溝咗半年嗰個咁正。因為半年嗰個新相識，新鮮啲。同樣，溝咗半年嗰個，就唔夠三個月咁正。溝咗一個月就唔夠半個月嗰個咁正。 溝咗一日就唔夠半日嗰個正，如此類推，終於…… 溝咗嗰件，就唔夠未溝嗰件咁正！
咁即係點呢？仲溝唔溝好呢？一溝就唔正？！
6. 責任何在
如果你話我聽，因為我唔靚仔，所以唔可以做戲，你唔應該話我聽！因為唔關我事，我唔應該負呢個責任，你應該同我父母講，係佢哋攪成我咁嘅。如果你要罰，應該罰佢哋。以後，邊個醜樣，就罰佢爸爸媽媽唔準做戲！或者剩係做茄呢啡！
我唔係一個唔負責任嘅人，為我爸爸媽媽嗰短短一剎嘅快感，我已經負責負咗廿幾年。你估做我好易做啊？
我細個讀書唔好，或者唔合格，我冇要父母負責。我自己簽晒啲成績表嘅。
每當我爸爸媽媽有爭執鬧交嘅時候，我有冇叫佢哋為咗我嘅童年著想，忍下對方？冇！我叫佢哋出街鬧！
我大個咗，唔知應該信邊個宗教，唔知做人為乜，唔知人生事業嘅方向都冇要求父母照顧我。
反而係我調番轉頭，提醒佢哋：你哋要搵錢啊，積穀防飢啊，唔係第日老來無依無*啊！
乜嘢都係我！
8. 男仔唔駛靚仔
靚仔係唔係真係咁重要啊？有啲人話男人唔駛靚仔嘅，有才華咪得囉。
係，你有冇試過帶你嘅才華去落disco識女仔啊？人哋啲靚仔一行入去，唔使二十分鐘，就已經同啲女仔互相問問題：“你度定我度？”
我帶住我嘅才華入到去，幾艱難先搵到個女仔肯畀個機會我。唔係畀機會我交換問題，而係畀機會我天才表演。
唱歌跳舞做話劇講大話功夫表演，成套歡樂今宵一個人做一次……
9. 演戲天份
我從小就知道，我係一個偉大嘅演員。
人哋細個成班細路群埋，鐘意玩扮結婚，扮爸爸媽媽。我細個，就鐘意扮姦夫淫婦。
但係唔知係咪我個樣比較老實，我係從來都冇機會扮奸夫。每次我都係扮淫婦……嘅老公。
雖然係咁，雖然，我亦都係成班人之中最細嗰個。但係我已經可以將一個妒忌嘅男人心態表現得淋漓盡至。
當然，我啲朋友個個都讚我，話我天生出嚟，就係戴綠帽嘅。
10. 死亡
細個嗰陣，我係唔怕死嘅。
我覺得，係以前啲人先會死嘅。係歷史書裡面嘅人至會死。好多人唔明歷史有乜用，歷史咪話你聽邊啲人死咗囉。
我從來未睇過一本歷史書有提到黃子華呢個名，我點會死啊。最緊要係，就算死都唔係乜嘢一回事。
細個嗰陣隔離陳師奶成日叫佢老公：“咁多人去死你仲唔去死？”
然後去完番嚟,阿陳師奶又會話：“死番嚟啦，唔死多陣添？”
所以我一路都認為，去死，即係去街，同埋一定唔會去好遠。因為阿陳生每次都好快就返嚟嘅！
11. 賭馬
喂，賭馬係需要付出好多嘎。
朝早要睇晨操夜晚要睇董鏢，又要同朋友交換讀書報告。
你估我哋睇得書少？市面幾多馬經啊？
仲唔係話你睇得多就得嘎喎！
香港啲馬經，一埸十隻馬，十隻馬都有人貼，你自己思想唔夠獨立，咁你就死梗啦：
唔該，呢場每隻幫我落100蚊啊！希望中啦！
夏天嚟啦，抖暑啦，你估係畀啲馬休息咩？係畀我哋休息啊！
12. 泳池
黃：去公眾泳池嗰啲唔係叫做游水，嗰啲叫做浸水。因為喺公眾泳池游，只可以用一種泳式，就係彈式，同一個位，彈下彈下。
張：如果係高手可以用式，但係要潛落水底嗰度用。
黃：點解香港啲泳池咁鬼逼嘅呢？
張：唔好問啊，趁人多你好快啲浸下。等陣所有人上晒水嗰陣，你就會發覺，個池啲水原來到膝頭哥嘎咋！你去浸腳指啦，下次。
黃：其實我哋香港人都習慣咗人多，去浸下水都好。但係可惜嘅係，呢啲水，唔係一般水，呢啲係暖水！你成日喺泳池度，你會髮覺有啲人，全身唔喐，眼碌碌。
張：哦！你喺泳池屙尿，咁冇公德心！由細到大我老豆都教我嘎啦，急尿，去隔離池啊嘛！
黃：所以我喺度，趁呢個機會，同你啲儬仔講啊！游游下小童池就走过嚟大人池，擒喺個池邊，唔好話我聽係學游水啊！
張：特別係擒正喺噴水口嗰啲啊！想毀屍滅跡啊！
13. 鬧人
以前我哋笑人，會話：“你有得發達？太陽由西邊出嚟啊！” 依家我哋就會話：“你有得發達？建築面積等於實用面積啊！”
又或者話人醜，現在我哋都會技巧好多：“你唔醜，你點算醜啊，你係塊面唔多實用咁解嘛。你嘅鼻台太大，啲眼耳口鼻咪唔見使囉。”
16. 失戀
失戀係會令人成長嘅。我失戀之前，一向都覺得世界上所有問題都有答案。
點解我哋每日都要8點鐘起身返工啊？因為夠鐘囉！
點解我哋有夠鐘呢樣嘢啊？因為我哋唔用浮動上班時間囉。
點解呢個世界有戰爭？因為我哋有武器羅。
咁點解我哋要有武器啊？因為佢哋有武器囉。
一切都有答案，直到我失戀。
阿珍，點解你唔愛我？阿珍畀咗一個經典嘅答覆我，佢話：“愛情係冇點解嘎，係唔可以解釋嘎，唔好問啦。”（記緊呢句啦）
如果番學阿sir問我嘢都可以咁答就好啦！“黃子華，物体燃燒點解需要氧氣啊？”
“阿sir，係冇點解嘎，係唔可以解釋嘎，唔好問我啦！”
17. 隆胸
葉子微簡直為演藝界創下新標準。
以後啲女仔想做明星，又唔使睇樣，又唔使睇演技，去磅啦！！！（加強語氣）得，入去磅一磅就得啦。“開黎，六斤半，片酬係六千五蚊一日，小姐做唔做？”“開黎，八斤有疤痕，八千減一千疤痕費，即係7千蚊一日。”
你話幾客觀呢！
18. 放假
黃：一般人都會好珍惜每年一度嘅年假！
張：今年我要去夏威夷游下水。
黃：如果你決定去夏威夷，你就要預咗付出沉重代價！前四後六！
張：我講緊係年假，唔係產假啊，子華！（真係啊……）
黃：前四後六嘅意思係，喺你放假之前嗰四個禮拜，同你放假之後六個禮拜，都要做到仆街！（死未）因為無論你放幾耐假，你嘅嘢始終係你做番。
張：係你嘅始終係你嘅！
黃：唔單止，放完假，唔係你嘅都會變成係你嘅！
21. 金撈
點解要帶金撈？唔帶勞，有乜資格同人講，時間係寶貴？我嘅時間點值錢呀？（你話係唔係先）
嗱，支時針圍住行一個圈，12個鐘，十幾皮嘢，即係為皮幾嘢一個鐘。 你一個鐘值幾錢啊？
幾舊水？我點同你一齊食飯啊，大家時間觀念咁唔同！
唔單止咁，你帶撈，表示你個人有幽默感。勞力士，有邊個靠勞力搵食嘅人帶得起勞力士啊？越帶勞力士嘅人就越表示佢唔使用勞力！呢啲，就叫做幽默感啦。
22. 女愛情觀
女仔對愛同鐘意有好大嘅分別，如果個女仔知道個男仔鐘意佢呢，佢都會同佢去下街，睇下戲，食下飯，但想做進一步嘅嘢就唔得啦。
而女仔知道個男仔愛佢嘅時候係絕對可以付出更多。喺女仔心目中，鐘意等於“幫襯”，鋪鋪清唔好找我更多好處。
但愛喺女仔心目中等於“收購”，收購包括“注資”，然後“閤並”……（係呀，係呀！）
所以女仔要男仔將佢嘅愛注資落嚟，嚟護口注資落嚟，最重要嘅係嚟錢注資落嚟。
然後去買 Joyce啦，Panda 啦，Gueeo啦，買到一身都係，等佢認為可以鞏固佢自己嘅價值，但佢哋係絕對冇得到男方嘅同意嘎！
嗱！我宜家同你哋講啊，你哋嘅黑箱作業，好容易破壞男方嘅經濟嘎！（你哋都好有共鳴啦）
23. 男愛情觀
男仔對愛就好隨便，愛同鐘意都冇分別，只要佢知道你鐘意佢，即刻可以帶你番屋企，或者去你屋企。
係唔係男仔心中冇愛呢？我覺得又唔係喎。係佢哋比其他人更清楚愛嘅定義。愛係乜呢？根據耶蘇嘅講法係：“愛係恆久忍耐又有恩賜，愛係不張狂，不大喚，不作害羞的事，忘記別人的錯。”
你話啦作為小小男人嘅我哋又點可以隨隨便便同你講聲愛啊！
所以以後有人同你講愛，一就係佢講大話（加強語氣），二就係有個耶蘇喺你面前啊。
但耶穌主將愛人如己任，博愛嘎！
24. 自重
當乜嘢人都唔搵我做嘢，我就知道，我係一個偉大嘅藝術家，在生嘅時候係唔會獲得應得嘅尊重。唔止咁，我仲偉大過偉大嘅藝術家，因為我知道，我死後都唔會受到尊重。
25. 紅館
依家做歌星，好犀利，因為有紅磡体育館。因為呢樣嘢，做歌星，可以喺一晚，就賺晒你哋朝九晚五一世人都搵唔到嘅錢啦！
啲人話，我真係唔明張國榮點解要退休，（點解？）佢一晚已經搵咗你一世搵嘅嘢，佢一晚已經做咗你一世人要做嘅嘢，仲有乜嘢可以做啊？唔退休做乜？做五場，已經輪迴五次！做三十場，輪迴三十次，如來佛祖都話：使唔使？
啲人話，唔係嘅，佢唔捨得退休嘅！佢最後嗰場演唱會，佢自己都喊嘎。佢係喊，不過唔係為自己喊，係為咗你哋喊啊：“我就退休啦，我聽日就唔使DO 啦，你哋聽日仲要番九點，唔好遲到啊！！”
26. 迷惘
喺公司，老闆會同我講：“你番嚟唔係瞓就係去廁所，你當呢度係屋企啊，呢度係公司啊。”
我番到屋企，阿媽又會話： “你仲當呢度係你屋企咩，你番嚟唔係霸住個廁所就剩係識瞓！”
咁……咁我番屋企又唔瞓覺又唔去廁所，番公司又唔去廁所唔瞓，咁我呢啲嘢去邊度做啊？
不過後嚟我諗過自己又係過份啲嘅，於是我就痛改前非。以後番屋企我就剩係瞓覺，番公司就剩係去廁所。
27. 十八歲
點解十八歲先至係合法年齡呢？因為到咗十八歲，喺法律上我哋就要對自己負責任
多餘，唔通十八歲之前，我哋就唔使對自己負責咩？唔通十八歲之前，我就可以隨時撲出馬路：“我唔信啊，我17歲半咋，你敢撞死我？”
唔通十八歲之前，我喺油麻地踩完個紋身佬一腳，個紋身佬會話：“死儬仔，你未夠十八歲，我忍你！”
唉，十八歲嘅最大好處，就係你到咗一個合法嘅做愛年齡。我想請問，有邊個做愛係因為合法先做嘎。我以為大部份人做愛係為咗快感同高潮。抑或你想話我聽，十八歲之前做愛係冇高潮嘅，十八歲之前做愛係白做嘅！咁樣十八歲就具有特別意義啦！
30. 拜年
呢幾年，拜年嘅賀詞之中，最流行係邊句？祝你——不勞而獲。（唔係掛？）
恭喜人哋發財當然好，但係發財，都要有方法。有邊一個方法，好得過不勞而獲？（係咪）
不勞而獲嘅方法就係唔使方法，唔使方法就係最好嘅方法。我哋想發財，已經想到到咗一個禪嘅景界！
不勞而獲既然可以成為新年賀詞，我期待喺未來幾年，我哋話人蛇鼠一窩，即係讚佢合群，話人非奸即盜，即係話佢勇敢！
嘩，真羨慕你呢個家庭，真係蛇鼠一窩非奸即盜。梗係，唔係我哋點會陷家富貴！
32. 兒童教育
我一向都認為，我哋成日呃啲細路仔，懶係nice 咁對佢哋，講到呢個世界乜嘢都好好咁，咁係唔啱嘅。（何解？）
細個我同媽媽搭飛機，睇見廁所嘅水係藍色，我未見過，咪走去問媽媽嗰啲係乜？媽媽話：“係天空。”所以我就成為世界上第一個食過天空嘅人。
細個啲大人成日講童話講白雪公主。（你都聽過啦）佢哋講嘅就係白雪公主又靚又好人，好值得去追求。
但係冇講到我哋唔係白馬王子！邊個人至係白馬王子啊？起碼有隻白馬啦。咁就即係馬主啦，你話係唔係啊？
講啲唔講啲好危險嘎。 即係等如你同個細路仔講：“小明啊，飛出窗口好過癮嘅，成個香港望晒嘎，浮下浮下……” 但係唔同佢講：“不過你落到地下個陣，會快過搭電梯好多！”
33. 用家炒家
好多人結婚，最初就以為自己係婚姻嘅用家。後來先發覺自己係感情嘅炒家，於是想離婚。但係離婚又要攪幾年，睇住周街都係新盤靚盤，自己個盤又放唔出，幾難受！
34．扒
如果你係一件豬扒，咁你基本上係唔使減肥囉～ 一件豬扒，減咗肥，就係一件瘦扒，一件瘦扒就係比豬扒更唔開胃嘅扒，係咪？你買叉燒都唔要嗰啲啦。 2月27日 So You Have Two Cows.......Two Cows (A comedy from moneybusinessblog, original link http://www.monkeybusinessblog.com/mbb_weblog/2009/02/so-you-have-two-cows.html) SOCIALISM 1月16日 Spirituality of Finance?(A story from MoneyBusinessBlog)Spirituality is the belief and faith in a transcendent reality. Any religion that believes in a higher deity or god, accepts the fact that there are things that are beyond our grasp of knowledge. We must have faith in things that to us, defy our earthly beliefs in what is possible. We accept these things as truth despite the fact that we cannot see them or understand them. This mode of thinking fits perfectly into the world of high finance no? Talk about transcendent reality! "How can we structure a subprime deal that produces 80% risk free, AAA bonds from a pool of mortgages made to people that can never pay them back." "Because our model says we can." "But what if they all default?" "They won't. We are diversified and even if they do, home values always increase." "They do? Why?" "Because they do." "Oh. Well, what about all the loans in our Alt-A deal? The borrowers have no documentation and credit scores, like FICO can easily be gamed. How do we know that the weighted average FICO score is > 680." "Because we have faith. Blessed are those who have not checked documentation and yet still believe." "Ok, what about the exotic derivative desk? I see here you just did a big deal that pays the buyer 15% if the S&P 500 is greater than 1,400, the Ten-year Treasury note is less than 5% and USD/Yen is greater than 80......TEN YEARS FROM NOW! You say it's worth $100, you sold it for $110 and booked a $10 gain. How do you know that what you sold is worth only $100?" "Because our model tells us it is. Actually the model says its only worth $95 but we are being conservative. "How can you possibly figure out the value on all those parameters and their correlations to one another, TEN YEARS FROM NOW?" "Because the model tells us it is so and therefore it is. Don't tell me we don't have spirituality! 1月2日 What is "Glocalization"?Glocalization is the combination of Globalization and Localization.
"One is how outward your culture is: To what degree is it open to foreign influences and ideas? How well does it 'glocalize'? The other, more intanglible, is how inward your culture is. By that I mean, to what degree is there a sense of national solidarity and a focus on development, to what degree is there trust within the society for strangers to collaborate together, and to what degree are the elites in the country concerned with the masses and ready to invest at home, or are they indifferent to their own poor and more interested in investing abroad?" 12月30日 Digest of "Flexible Exchange Rates, 1973-1980: How Bad Have They Really Been?" (Richard Cooper, 1981)By affecting the demand for foreign currency, current account imbalances could influence exchange rates directly, or as noted above, they could affect expertations about future exchange rates and hence, through attemped adjustments in portfolios, could affect today's exchange rates.
To sum up, exchange change rate during this period of floating have not been "unstable" over time, and indeed, the movements have been fully explicable in terms of correction for inflation differentials combined with a corrective respone to current account imbalances.
The monetary authorities should strive to limit radical and unjustified movements in exchange rates, which means that they will sometimes have to take large, open positions in foreign currencies. Their interventions can and should be reversed later, so as to allow exchange rates to move over time in response to market pressures. 4月11日 Digest of <The World is Flat>Several weeks ago,my cousin brought me this book--<The world is flat>.It's meanly about one of the most profound issues--globalization. Cause it's an English editon, i didn't think i could dig into it. But after reading several pages, i found myself immersed into it. I really admired the arthur of the book, the three-time Pulitzer Prize winner,Thomas.L.Friedman,for his elegant words,vivid demonstrations,and genius thoughts. The arthur used the word "flat" to describe the world we live in, in which people are more relative to other through emerging technology, have more changes to coordinate with others, and get the work done together with people from a remote place. He also illustrated the elements that "flatten" and against the "flatten" of the world,such as 89/11/9,when the Berlin Wall was down,and contrary, 2001/9/11,when the World Trade Centre was striked by the hijacked plane. He commented in the last chapter "conclusion:imagination" that,"One of the most dangerous things that has happened to America since 9/11, under Bush administration,is that we have gone from exporting hope to exporting fear." And at the end of the book, the arthur expressed his hope,"...The world is being flattened.I didn't start it and you can't stop it, except at a great cost to human development and your own future. But we can tilt it, and shape it, for better or for worse...You can flourish in this flat world, but it does take the right imagination and the right motivation. While your lives have been powerfully shaped by 9/11, the world needs you to be forever the generation of 11/9--the generation of strategic optimists, the generation with more dreams than memories, the generation that wakes up each morning and not only imagines that things can be better but also acts on that imnagination every day." When I was writing, there're many people in the world are "exporting" fears. Such as the fighting between American Army and Islamic ultras in Iraq, the "Holy War" between Isreal and Palestine... But I think more people are exporting hope rather than fear at the same time so we can together flatten the world. I'm strongly recommend this book as it will give you a special perspective of probing our world. 9月23日 写在大二的开始好久没上空间了，转眼间大二的时光过了快一个月了。看到大一的新生，总会想起一年前的自己，怀着憧憬和好奇踏进中大的校门的样子。大一一年实在没干过什么正经事，学习和工作都没做好，大学校园自由的空气并没有给我带来奋进的力量，而是自由放任和毫无计划的生活。以至于我连大一的总结也没写，实在没什么好事可写，难道写成一份检讨书吗？前几天和老爸在电话上聊了很久，谈到了未来，谈到了大学以及以后的目标和规划。。。一谈到这些我就感到惭愧，现实中的我和目标的距离是多大啊，特别是看到身边一些人凭着默默的努力实现了自己的目标，我就后悔大一没有实实在在作一些事。。。好在大二刚刚开始，面对未来，我还有很多机会，还有努力的时间。大二了，多想想自己的目标和责任，过充实的生活。。。今晚听着周杰伦的《听妈妈的话》，颇有感触，我想以前的我有点像歌里的那个孩子，在父母的爱护和督促下长大，也学了不少东西，过得满充实。。。听妈妈的话，别让她受伤，想快快长大，才能保护她，美丽的白发，幸福总发芽，天使的魔法，温暖中慈祥。现在，应该是长大的时候了。。。 |
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