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    27 February

    So You Have Two Cows.......

    Two Cows

    (A comedy from moneybusinessblog, original link http://www.monkeybusinessblog.com/mbb_weblog/2009/02/so-you-have-two-cows.html)

    SOCIALISM

    You have 2 cows.

    You give one to your neighbour.



    COMMUNISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both and gives you some milk.



    FASCISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both and sells you some milk.


    BUREAUCRATISM

    You have 2 cows.

    The State takes both, shoots one, milks the other, and then throws the

    milk away...



    TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM

    You have two cows.

    You sell one and buy a bull.

    Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.

    You sell them and retire on the income.



    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION

    You have two cows.

    You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows.

    Later, you hire a consultant to analyze why the cow has dropped dead.



    GOLDMAN SACHS VENTURE CAPITALISM

    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull.

    You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of

    credit opened by your brother-in-law at JPM Chase, then execute a

    debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all

    four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of

    the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island

    Company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights

    to all seven cows back to your listed company.

    The annual report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on

    one more.

    You sell one cow to buy a new president of the United States, leaving

    you with nine cows. The public then buys your bull.

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